Sharia-backed norms really sucks bigly…
In multicultural relationships, there may be differences of opinion regarding parenting.
Finnish women reveal why their relationship with a foreign man did not work
We have previously talked about multiple multicultural families and relationships where different cultures and customs work well together.
However, everyday life with a foreign partner does not work, and cultural differences become too great. Five Finnish women revealed why their relationship with a foreign partner ended.
Turkish man was shocked by Finnish culture
The mother of Rita, 48, had a friendship with a Turkish man after three years of dating and eventually marriage.
Although friendship laid a solid foundation for the relationship, there were problems in the union. Some of them concerned raising Rita’s daughter.
– In his opinion, the child should not be equal with the adult man, but the child should obey his parents 100%. There were enough forging and compromises.
Riitta says that a Muslim man who moved to Finland was shocked by Finnish culture.
– We wear more loose clothes here and the skin was much more visible than in Turkey. A woman can hug her male friends, which was strange to her.
As the year wore on, the man began to restrict Rita and his child more and more.
– We were not allowed to bring products containing alcohol, pork, animal fat or gelatin. I couldn’t stop my fingernails, red my lips, dye my hair or go to the bar. Only certain postures were allowed in sex. Also, male friends could not be invited in if I was alone or with my daughter at home.
The couple eventually divorced after 11 years of marriage.
– He wanted children, but we were not blessed with common children. I wanted to live more freely – just as Finns usually live. I wanted to eat and drink and do whatever I wanted without restrictions.
“There is no mention that I have made them landlords”
Essi , 37, who lives on the farm , says she has met several foreign men from Turkey and Syria.
However, the relationship did not work as the views on future plans never coincided.
– The foreign men I met were young, edible and fun. They were bar clubs and sex partners, but there was no mention of having them landed in the country. They were such fine city dwellers all.
Essi says she later found a Finnish man younger than him.
– She’s not fine, Essi is happy.
“I would no longer be in a relationship with a foreigner”
Oona, 41, has experience of two long relationships with two Arab men. He also has children from both relationships.
Oona says she has learned from open-ended relationships, for example, open-mindedness.
– In a multicultural relationship, you have to give up and find the golden mean.
Difficulties in the relationship were caused, among other things, by differences of opinion regarding the raising of children.
– For example, in Arabic culture, girls are taught to take care of the home from a young age. In our Finnish culture, it does not go one-to-one.
Oona says she’s still dealing with one of the men. The other relationship ended more sadly because it involved jealousy as well as a desire for ownership.
– I wouldn’t go into a relationship with a foreigner anymore, although there are some good points!
“She took my hair from my hairbrush, burned it to ash and mixed it with water, then rubbed it into my skin.”
Mari in her fifties was married to a Gambian man for seven years. During that time, cultural differences became clear.
– The woman had to obey her husband, of course the food could not contain pork and the dishes could not even contain pork … There was also “superstition” – for example, she took my hair brush, burned it to ash and mixed it with water. This is how he believed me to remain “obedient” – or whatever.
Mari says that the couple also experienced racism in Finland, and their attitude towards the union was negative and prejudiced. Eventually, the relationship ended with the violence Mari experienced.