Just plop a camera in front of a mosque on Fridays and hold the shutter button down.
Whether it’s by violent jihad or the stealth version, the end result is the same, a formerly non-Muslim area now firmly in the clutches of the Pajamas & Slippers club.
France lists how to spot jihadists
Published: 30 Jan 2015 15:40 GMT+01:00
The French government has published a chart of nine ways we can spot a potential jihadist. However, many of the points on the list could easily be applied to anyone whose life has been altered radically, not by any extremist preacher, but by an all-screaming, never-sleeping, always hungry new baby.
This may lead to the finger being pointed at some innocent new parents.
Here’s the French government’s nine-point list (see chart below):
- They stop listening to music
Potential jihadists will stop listening to music because they think it will distract them from the “mission”, the government says. Most new dads are also forced to unplug the music system, not because it distracts from any parental “mission”, but because “you’ll wake the bloody baby! Again!”.
- Stop watching TV and quit going to the cinema
Radicalized young men and women will turn off the TV and stop going to the cinema, the French government points out because they will don’t want to risk coming across “forbidden images”. First-time parents on the other hand will stop watching TV or going to the cinema because they just can’t stay awake past 9pm.
- They dramatically change their eating habits
Those potentially heading for jihad will change what and when they eat, the government says, which is exactly what happens when you have a baby. No more eating out, no more eating together, no more eating at the table, just lots of take away pizzas and leftover pureed vegetables for mum and dad.
- Stop all sport
Extremists are likely to give up all sporting activity as they don’t like the fact men and women are often mixed, French authorities say. Over in new-baby world, a similar change in habits takes place with mums stopping exercise because they feel like they’ve been hit by a bus and dads because they’ve finally got an excuse to order take pizzas and get fat. And where do you get he time anyway!?
NOTE: One noticeable omission of course is mosque attendance and a zebibah bump.