From Pastor Joseph Goebbels
I am writing on behalf of the Church of Adolf Hitler (pbuh), formerly known as the Nazi Party.
Having decided to transform ourselves into a religion, we have abandoned all political ambitions, and intend to concentrate on our objectives of spiritual tranquillity, non-violent world conquest and peaceful extermination of the Jews.
Since we are now a religion rather than a political movement, we demand the following rights and privileges:
– An end to Naziphobia in the media, especially war films showing the Nazis in a bad light.
– Tax exemption for all places of worship including airfields, munitions factories, extermination camps etc.
– Destruction of all blasphemous cartoons of Adolf Hitler(pbuh) produced in the Second World War.
– An apology from the British government for the Naziphobic campaign waged by Winston Churchill, and the hurt feelings inflicted on the Afrika Korps at El Alamein by the Naziphobic bigot Montgomery.
– An apology from the American government for the insensitivity by the raging Naziphobe Eisenhower for failing to forewarn Nazi community leaders of the D-Day attack, which caused much distress among the peaceloving Nazis occupying Northern France.
– Burning ‘Mein Kampf’ must become a hate crime.
– Application of our parallel legal system known as ‘The Gestapo’ within westerm countries.
– Affimative action to promote Nazis to high positions in the security services to maintain community cohesion.
– The occasional Blitzkrieg invasions of sovereign states should not be portrayed in the media as being typical of Nazis as a whole, rather they are the work of a tiny minority of extremists who have hijacked a peaceful spiritual movement.
Peace in our time and Heil Hitler!
– Pastor Joseph Goebbels